The curse of perfectionism and value of crap

In baseball, a perfect game occurs when a pitcher doesn’t allow a baserunner to first (or any other base) by any means: hit, error, walk, hit by pitch, catcher’s interference, whatever. As soon as there’s a baserunner, the game isn’t perfect any more. In the last 112 major-league baseball seasons, perfect games have happened exactly 18 times.

Except for Todd Rundgren, we don’t live in Utopia. Perfection isn’t a part of our existence. Striving for perfection often means avoiding good enough when good enough is sufficient for us to meet our goals.

I’m a perfectionist. If you could see my office or the inside of my mind, you’d never know it, but it’s true. Especially when it comes to first drafts.

According to Hemingway, the first draft of anything is shit (his word, not mine, but it’s appropriate considering the source). Uncle Ernie knows a thing or two about writing and being published, so we can probably take his word at it.

Except I don’t. I’m currently working on the fourth first draft of my current work in progress. With each first draft, the product gets better. It’s a new improved brand of shit, much better than the previous shit. And if I keep writing a first draft, it’ll be the best shit anyone ever read.

The problem is, publishers and agents don’t want shit. They want a finished, wonderful product that leaps off the page and demands to be read.

There’s a lot of people crippled by perfectionism in writing. Most often, it’s people who struggle with a first draft because they don’t treat it like a first draft. They can’t accept that it’s shit, so they struggle to not make it shit, ignoring the revision process.

I’m odd in that regard. I can spew…you know…all over the place, over and over again. It’s fun and there are big numbers involved. And rather than letting it age and then fixing the problems, I look at it, say “this is shit” and start over.

That’s stupid.

So one of my resolutions this year is to learn how to revise effectively. And to finish this damned work in progress before I kill all the characters off because I can’t stand them any more.