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Guest post about JK Rowling’s new book

July 19, 2013

Today we have a guest post sent in by someone named Frank Barone. As I am traveling today, I figured it would be a good thing to post about the current news of JK Rowling’s mystery novel, that isn’t so mysterious any more.

Holy crap! Robert Galbraith wears a bra!

Okay, listen up. I can’t believe I have to say this, but so what, this guy Robert Galbraith winds up being JK Rowling? You got a problem with that? I mean, it’s not like he posted negative reviews of other peoples’ books and did it under a fake name. That would be a big deal.

But all this poor schmuck did was write a book, get it published, and get some positive reviews. Holy crap! Get over it!

So anyway, this Galbraith winds up being that Harry Potter woman. I don’t get it, but any woman who can write like a man–a man who’s been in British Special Forces–that takes some talent. It’s not like she’s just some sports columnist for Newsday or something. I mean, think of it. I bet not once did he…she…whatever, write about buying shoes, vacuuming, or how to make me a sandwich.

Anyway, this Rowling says she wanted to publish something without having a bunch of hype and expectations. And it worked, she even got rejected. You’re gonna get mad that this Harry Potter woman does something and gets rejected for it?

Cry me a river. I got so many rejection letters, the United Nations is calling me a major contributor to global warming. If you’re using another name besides yours so you get rejection letters, I’d love to have a piece of that action.

On the other hand, look at the reviews for this Rowling lady’s book The Casual Vacancy. They boiled down to a bunch of wannabe humps making jokes about wands. It takes a special kind of talent to make a wand joke. You’re a book reviewer and the best you can do is “it would have been better with wands”? My grandkid’s hamster could write that and he’s dead. My idiot son let him get in the Fudgecicles and he froze to death. What a numbskull!

Of course there weren’t wands. It’s not Harry Potter. I mean imagine if she decided to write a Dirty Harry story. He’s gonna pull out a wand and cast a spell on the punk? I don’t think so. Not when he’s got the powerful handun in the world that would blow your head clean off.

Conjure up this, punk!

Anyway, if I was this Rowling lady, I’d have done the same thing.

The book sold 1,500 copies and then when they found out it’s her–apparently someone tweeted about it to another newspaper columnist in England–she freaking denied it was her doing the tweeting, whatever that is.

Who cares? If it’s a good book, read it. If it’s not, don’t. And if you’re trying to get published, then don’t worry about what she’s doing, sit on your butt and write. Maybe she tried to game the system a little, but unlike the Ellory thing, no one got hurt and it probably helped the whole thing in terms of resetting expectations.

I mean, imagine Spenser if he had magical abilities–and I’m not talking about his lovemaking to Susan, either. If you go into Spenser expecting Harry Potter, PI, you’re gonna be disappointed. Anyone would be disappointed in a train wreck like that.

But if you go in expecting a mystery, you’ll like it. I got no problem with this.

Frank Barone is a retired guy who lives in Lynbrook, Long Island with his miserable hag of a wife, Marie. He used to have some fish until they died–and they were too expensive to die! It was a waste of money! He doesn’t do Facebook or Twitter or any of that crap, so don’t bother looking for him there. If you want him, he’ll be on the couch watching TV in his stretchy pants.

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